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It Has Been Written, And It Shall Come To Pass

The Holy Poker Scrolls

Poker shall consume the world, such as the plague once ran rampant throughout society, men and women of all ages shall be consumed by the evil poker gods. Homes abandoned, families neglected, chores swept aside for others to care for. The earth shall lie in ruins, once mighty peoples turneth away thy sword and shield for use of a keyboard and mouse.
The twin tyrants, Party Poker and Poker Stars shall rule this underworld, and tempt even the most righteous soul with their astounding payouts, no mortal shall resist the lure of the evil twins and their treacherous ways.
Many of great fame and riches shall enter ye seedy underworld, only to lose all ye bounty and fall into the shadows of anonymouty. Poker rooms of once great stability and promise shall cease to exist, befallen by thy demons of yer own greedy ways.
Youth shall sacrifice thy academic studies to feed ye poker demons. Institutions and universities shall offer ye devil's game for thy lost souls to study. Leaders of future nations shall be required to have thy master's degree in poker, thy devil's game shall prosper like none before ye, and no other to come after ye, the future of nations lies in thee balance, history begotten on thy turn of thy river card.
Beware the hand of the joker, it is not as it seems, he is of the devil's blood, do not attempt to bluff him or test his might, many lay by the wayside, their dreams shattered by the hands of this sinister foe.

Thy Ten Commandments

Moses Says

1-Thou shall not covet thy neighbours hand
2-Thou shall not slow play pocket aces
3-Thou shall not write a poker book if ye become successful at poker
4-Thou shall not attempt to steal blinds with crappy hands
5-Thou shall not commit to pot ye cannot win
6-Thou shall not chase hands lest ye be rewarded with the nuts
7-Thou shall not dress in hood and glasses and act like ye jester at the poker table
8-Thou shall not name thy self Jesus
9-Thou shall not play strip poker lest ye haveth enormous dong
10-Thou shall not blame poor poker play for ye troubles in life

Do Not Steal Thy Holy Content